Dancing With The Disabled (FOX) – Great dancing meets social consciousness when visibly uncomfortable celebrities are paired up with injured Vietnam veterans to win $50,000 worth of health insurance deductibles in a do-or-die ballroom dancing competition! Hosted by Leonard Nimoy.
Sorbo! (PBS) – Kevin Sorbo, the former star of the syndicated television show “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” discusses his views on Near East affairs with special guest contributors including New York Times columnist David Brooks, CBS News’ Bob Schieffer, Newsweek International editor Fareed Zakaria and NFL quarterback Daunte Culpepper.
Candy Man (TBS) – Recently fired office temp Vince Hoffman suffers from a rare disease that makes his body-odor smell just like English toffee. It ruins his life, until he discovers that he can lure missing children and pregnant women with the smell, making him indispensable to a rural Kentucky police department. Starring Topher Grace, Minnie Driver and Slash.
Leprechauns: Fact or Fiction? (History) – This two-hour History channel special asks the daunting question “Are leprechauns real?” and concludes that, no, they are not.
Don’t Panic (ABC) – Severe anxiety sufferer Jeff Benson must prevent his constant panic attacks the only way he knows how: Finding and viciously torturing terrorists. Starring Stephen Baldwin, Marcia Gay Harden and Susan Anton.
Mue Calliente! (Telemundo) – Celebrities who don’t speak Spanish try their best at this beat-the-clock game show, but ultimately they always lose and have to “Eat The Pepper,” a euphemism for a degrading sexual act that will surely make this the biggest reality TV hit this season.
The Crazybergs (Comedy Central) - An animated comedy where a mentally ill family goes on a killing spree each week. Will they ever get caught? Will the “stupid” father Ziggy Crazyberg (voiced by Malcolm McDowell) say something wacky? Tune in and find out!
Well That Phelps A Lot! (NBC) – Five years after retiring from swimming, and after gaining 150 pounds, a disheartened octuple gold medal-winning swimmer Michael Phelps is told by the Olympic committee that one of his gold medals will be taken away due to a timing error at the Beijing games. The only way he can get the medal back is if he swims the race again, and his new coach Bill Cosby isn’t about to give up on him. Also, Mark Spitz tries to murder him. Special appearances by Thom Yorke of Radiohead and Amanda Bynes.
The New Adventures of Raggedy Ann and Andy (Nickelodeon) – Beloved childhood dolls come to life and creep everybody the Hell out in this new live-action series produced by James Cameron. Absurdly realistic special effects guarantee these dolls will haunt you through years of counseling. Featuring the voice talents of Mercedes Ruehl and Chris Rock.
Twelve Stepps To Quantico (CBS) - A brilliant but alcoholic FBI agent must work through his personal demons to do his job. That’s not easy when corruption in the agency makes special agent Richard Stepp question his loyalties to the bureau and to his daughter, Mindy, who owns a liquor store. Starring Jon Lithgow, Keith David and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
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You forgot to mention my new project Chopped And Screwed, where hip hop producer T Pain and I go to a different American city every week and he encourages me to talk to a woman in a club but ends up buying me a cheeseburger at a Greek family restaurant.
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